Happy Birthday to me.

So yeah, its my birthday again. But everything's different this year. No surprises, no him. Well, i guess i'll have to learn to accept facts and ignore fictions in my life. Its a busy year next year, i am so gonna study hard cuz i wanna get into good college and study overseas. DON'T EVER UNDERESTIMATE ME. HAHA. I will show you my awesomeness. Just you wait. ;P

It's okay. I don't blame you. Afterall it is my fault that i'm not good enough to make you stay. I will better myself these times. And then you will see the REAL me. I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask how you are. I hope you will see something that will make you wish you had stayed. I've always had everything planned out, but i never plan on you walking out of my life. I've never wanted you to regret any decision you make, but this time, I really hope you know what you've lost. But if you dont come to realize its a lost, that's fine with me. As long as you're living how you want your life to be, since our "point of living" is different. Whatever that meant. But nothing is going to stop me from going out with all your best friends, as in, we become best friends. And no matter what, I will always think about my best friends first, under certain circumstances of course. But i want to give you a piece of advice, if you truly love a girl, you will love her everything including her friends, her flaws. I guess, you just didnt know that. I really hope, you find a girl who can accept you for who you are, and have the same "point of living".

I loved you. I always did. It's just, you never trust me; you never did.
If you come back to me now, i would still love you.
But if you decide against it, I wish you will know you lost something important.













I Hate You.
I Love You too.
But I Love You more than I Hate You. ;/

我真的非常喜欢你。我也不想骗谁，说过得很好。我对不起自己罢了。我承认，这一切都是我一手造成，让你难过，我真的不知道该怎么道歉。但是，如果分手能够解决一切问题，那么全世界都不会有夫妻。因为，问题是用来巩固一段感情。我本来想和你一起承担，解决问题。但看来，你一点都不想。好吧，祝你愉快。再见。

跟你在一起，我从来没想过放弃。

So yes, another heartbreak. I don't know what to do. Talk about the stupidest reason to break up. I always thought you would understand, and we did promise to never argue over stupid things. But now you just thought leaving would be best, i should've known it when i tested you. I don't wanna get my hopes up anymore. I just wanna be a normal person. Why isit so hard to just let go? I know these things need time, and i will get used to it. And when that time comes, i'll show you how well i've been living. I'll make you believe the impossible, and i'll show you and everyone that, silent prayers can be answered too.

One day, i'll be fine. I've lived 12 years of my life without you, sure i can live without you now. And i will. but you know,

Somehow you lost feel, i get that its my fault. And it is truly my fault. I admit. So if you lose interest in me just because i dont spend time with you, i wont agree with you. I wont even bother to talk to you. Because:

Come back come back come back to me like you would you would if this was a movie stand in the rain outside till i came out.

Come back come back come back to me like you could you could if you just say you're sorry,
I know that we could work it out somehow.
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now.

Fiction.

First, i'm showing you guys something that's totally worth the time! XD

Normal....

WINK! *screams! and faints. -,-*

Isn't he adorable? GAH. I'm so high now! XD anyway. nothing really exciting today... Except, something stupid happened. -,- Well, it didn't exactly "happen" as it was clumsy me... Accidentally doing it. lol!

Its like that, i got up in the morning, and then i went to brush my teeth and did my stuffs. Anyway, i saw my mom prepareing burger for me. And my hands and mouth itched to get it. So i made no effort of stoping myself. Unfortunately... I ran out of time and i rushed down so i wouldn't miss the bus. But yeap, i forgotten to wear my glasses. lol!. -,- So you can guess that i was practically blind the whole day in school. Lol!

That pretty much does it. -,- And later, our english teacher who was absent for quite a few days, (and she hasn't given us back our english paper 2! TT) told us her story of why she was absent. Her grandfather passed away... *tears in eyes*, so she went back to Kuching attended all the funeral.... And came back, without the papers. -,- *RAWR* lol! But that's okay, whatever. lol!

That's about it. I'm soooo tired cuz i'm sick. Sorry guys. TT

Oops. ;/

You bet. ;D

Yea yea i know. Its like since forever since i have updated my blog. Well i'm really sorry but i was busy studying (YEAH RIGHT*rolls eyes*). No, i'm really serious, i really did study. And YES, if you have to know, it does make a BIG difference between NOT studying and studying. -,- But, why the annoyed looks? I did apologise, didn't i? ;D aww c'mon don;t gimme that look. -,- Its either you find this amusing or you're just plain boring with no sense of humour. JUST KIDDING.

Anyway, urm... its been hectic since i haven't blogged. Which is, the reason why i did not... you know, update this dude. Brief explanations:

I was so so so so so so so so so so so BUSY.

There. Short and sweet.(like minskirt)ps: this quote was from my chinese teacher. @@

Anyway, okay. i've finished exams and just wanted to tell you guys bout my incredible marks. You would just laugh your head off when you see these. Just, be sure to pick it up before it rolls down the hill. But seeing that we're not living anywhere neatr the hills, you'll have to chase it for a long way. LOL! Nah, i'm just talking crap. Gosh... i'm so tired. -.-I've changed my mind, i'm not gonna tell you guys bout my "incredible" marks. We can store it in the hush-hush business.

I'm so frustrated lately. Things are going wrong and worse. Phew. How do people cope with it when i'm on the edge of the cliff? -,- Argh, i don't know what to say. Ending it seems impossible. Mimicking nicholas these few days, i'm like... the chipmunk version... or in modern days, one of the iphone apps, TALKING TOM! Yea, normally i am annoyed. but it seems i'm annoying nicholas more. AHAHA. -,- Its just so crazy now. LOL!

Anyway, i gotta go, my mom is coming home any second, RUN! XD

Peer pressure.

I know its been a long time since i've blogged. I've been so busy everyday, catching up with homeworks, assignments, friends, gossips... I haven't even slept well. LOL actually i did. Ok, fine i was kind of lazy. But i don't wanna close my blog so i'll just drop by and just brief you guys bout what's on. LOL.

Anyway, today i logged in to blog about peer pressure and trusts in friends. I don't really know where to start, i love all my friends, i really do, its just sometimes i wish they could understand that i'm not the same as them. I like to put up my leg when i sit so i do that, so what if i look .... well, not-lady-like? I simple don't care how i look. Because i was born this way, and i like the way i am.

And, great. we move on to boys. I don't like to talk bout it but i'm just gonna have to talk bout it if not i'm losing my sanity. Yes, maybe i do feel something for him, but i'm trying to stop it. This is just me being silly. And i don't know what to say,i don't wanna tell you is because i know you'll go round telling ppl bout it. Sigh. high school. this is all peeps. TT

Joanie.

Thousand Apologies.

Forgive me? XD

Ah crap. Before you guys start pummeling me with questions, i will say sorry for... not updating my blog. I have a very good reason, the reason is... actually come to think of it, nah, i don't have a reason. One sentence, i admit, i ditched my blog. -,- But anyway, i'm back people! Put your hands up! XD Nah okay fine whatever.

Yeah, its been pretty insane lately. Not lately only, since the last time i blog, everything is going so fast, like.. Phew. I don't even know how we got here. But anyway, since we're here, erm... i'll just brief slightly about what happened recently, and recently, and recently. Hmm.

So yeah, let's skip some boring parts shall we, January skip. Chinese new year... Hmm, okay then i'll just say a LITTLE bout it. As usual, i went back to my hometown, had a fight with my dad in the car(we're both hot tempered so mostly i'm the only one who fights back during a fight)-,- reached there, ate lunch, spent the few days there eating , watching tv, sleep. eat , tv, sleep. And you can bet, yeap. The word GUILT is written all over my face. Gosh. That's why, i need to swim to.. well, don't feel so guilty. -,- Um, there are a lot of first times there. Like the first time i woke up and took a walk in the morning too, but of course i'm not a bad girl like CHAN SWEELYNN, i told my mom only i went out. See? I'm telling you i'm not so bad. And the first time i DID NOT drink soft drinks at all. I'm kinda impressed with myself. C'mon gimme a round of applause man. *clap clap clap*

Ahh lame. I know Lately,i've been high and crazy. People can't stand me i think. XD

Hmm... Back to school. Its such a pain in the ass. Gosh, i feel like my whole body is still in holiday mood. I lose myself in school. I can't remember what i just did , can you believe that? I mean, that really sucks. LOL. Let's start with monday. Nothing... Unspecial. Because everyday i laugh like mad, we curi makan in class. CRAP! i know! I'm bad, but not so bad like CHAN SWEELYNN.

tuesday. . .aka today.

Had some sort of march thingy going on. Quite in a bad mood during marching cuz someone pissed me off. -,- Sigh. This person is tired of living i guess. He has absolutely nothing to do that's why he wanted to piss me off. -,- Which makes me a bad person scolding all the bad word. Super, that makes me really happy. TT

Anyway, gotta go people. Ciaoz. XD